How to manage and overcome anger

Anger is a strong emotion. During moments of anger, people might do things they do come to regret. When we get angry, we put out a lot of negative energy. In anger, we tell ourselves; the other person has offended us, they should not have done that to us! We get angry at situations beyond our control; when we hit a wall. So many things can elicit anger.

Anger is usually a reaction to something. We react. We justify our actions based on what others have done or our circumstances. We ask: Why did they do that to us? Why did it happen to us? Why us?

It reflects a lot of dissatisfaction within us. It shows there is an inner turmoil, it shows a complete lack of inner peace.

Anger says we have been hurt, and we are holding on to that hurt. It says the other person was wrong. It says they should not have done what they did. It says what happened in our lives should not have happened. It shows we have refused to come to terms with a situation. We go on a ‘why’ trail. We want to find the answers. We want our wounds to heal, we want those who did us wrong to know, we want them to apologize!

But are we looking for answers in all the wrong places and from the wrong people? Are we depending on people to heal us? Are we spending a lot of energy holding on to what should have been, what we should have done, what they should have done, on why our circumstances are the way they are? We burn out when we do that.

When we hold onto anger and hurt we do a disservice to ourselves. We then start projecting negativity to others. We become angry with other people who are not a part of what we may be going through. Our hearts grow bitter. We become separated from God, yet He is the only one who can heal us.

But thanks to God, He overturns situations and makes what was meant for evil turn out for good. He tells us to seek Him and we shall find Him. We have to choose to let Him in, and when we do, everything changes. He comes in and sets us free.

Without knowing it, we usually become prisoners of things that are a stronghold in our lives. We can become slaves to anger. We can turn into anger and be defined by anger. That’s how powerful strongholds are, and only through Christ can we break them.

For He had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. For it had seized him many times; and he was bound with chains and shackles and kept under-guard, and yet he would break his bonds and be driven by the demon into the desert. Luke 8:29.

Sin keeps us in chains, we become prisoners.

We know that the Law is spiritual; but i am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what i do. For what i want to do, i do not do. But what i hate, i do. Romans 7:14-15.

Through Christ we have received power. We are no longer slaves to sin, we walk by the Spirit. Jesus told His disciples to watch and pray so that they will not enter into temptation. For the spirit is willing but the body is weak.

So I say, walk by the spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh craves what is contrary to the spirit, and the spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are opposed to one another, so that you do not do what you want. Galatians 5:16-17.

The Bible tells us in anger we should not sin.

And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27.

The moment we allow anger to control us, we sin.

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only evil. Psalms 37:8.

Anger is an ugly sin. We were not created to hold to hold onto negative emotions because it blows over. We cannot stay angry and please God. Man’s anger does not bring the righteousness that God desires.

We should speak up against injustices, but in the process we do not allow any form of bitterness to take root. In Christ we have the fruit of the Holy Spirit. One of the fruit of the Spirit is self-control. The Spirit enables us not to react in the moment and we are able to hold ourselves back.

Be of sober spirit, be on alert, your adversary the devil, prowls like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8.

Self-control is a powerful part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. It helps us to step back. We respond to situations appropriately instead of reacting. We weigh our words and actions. We do not allow other people or circumstances to control us. We become steady. We are not swayed around. We stand firm.

Everything we do comes out of a place of knowing. God helps us to discern other people’s intentions. He helps us to be content, yet at the same time not settling. We speak out from a place of love. God fills our voids; we do not go out there looking for people or circumstances to fill us. We reach a point of total reliance on God.

The people who hurt us cannot heal us. Only God can. He gives us a new understanding and wisdom. Most people hurt others out of their own hurt; most people project onto others what is in their hearts. Most people are unable to face their own fears and as a result, they start blaming others. Instead of anger, God gives us compassion and love. We start seeing others as God sees them.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress. He sent out His Word and healed them; He rescued them from the grave. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for mankind. Psalms 107:19-21.

Blessings.

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