For those who struggle with self-pity, it is time to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Self-pity keeps a person paralyzed. A person in self-pity lives in great fear. Self-pity lies that we are not good enough, that we cannot make it, that we have to coil back and pity ourselves; we say to ourselves – look at what other people have done to us, look at what other people have said to us, look we have no one to support us, we have no finances, we have no connections, we have no one who loves us, everyone seems to dislike us, everyone is avoiding us, we do not come from a privileged background, we have no friends.
We feel justified to remain in the condition we are in. We give all the excuses humanly possible. Whether it is due to abuse when we were children, whether it is due to what people have done and said against us, whether it is because of the circumstances we are in that seem to be against us; we continue to give reasons why we think we cannot do something and because of that, we remain stuck in the same place.
Self-pity says we cannot do this because of that, it says we cannot say this because of that. It is a paralyzing fear that keeps us coiled back. We fear to venture out, we think others are better than us, we fear failure, we fear uncertainty, we fear what we do not know, we fear what people will say, we fear how people will look at us, we can even end up fearing life itself.
Self-pity is a demonic spirit that prevents people from reaching their highest potential, it keeps people locked up in what they know, it keeps people locked up in their comfort zones.
Self-pity tells us of all the possible things that could go wrong, it tells us we cannot make it without relying on someone else. We seek validation and acceptance from others, we want to hear other people say we can make it because inside we do not believe it ourselves, we want other people to support us because inside we think we cannot make it without their support, we want other people to walk with us because we are afraid of walking alone.
Self-pity makes up codependent. We start relying on other people for almost everything; whether it is validation, acceptance, encouragement, or physical presence. Self-pity makes a person a taker rather than a giver, it makes a person seem selfish. It drains off others in an effort to fill ourselves. We rely on others and that makes them feel drained.
Self-pity is not attractive at all. It can even make us become targets for abuse. When a person in self-pity meets a person who wills them no good, a lot of harm is done. Such a person is a target for all kinds of abuse; whether it is financial, physical, sexual, verbal, and all other sorts of abuse. When the other person notices self-pity and low esteem in such a person, they easily take advantage. A person in self-pity is easily abused, misused, and mistreated.
Self-pity is hard to break; we need God to come out of it and be delivered. It keeps a person in chains and such a person is a target for the enemy.
A person will keep wondering why everything in their life seems to be going wrong. Self-pity makes us targets for all types of attacks from the enemy. We need to get off ourselves. Focusing on ourselves and the troubles we are going through will lead us to make up all sorts of problems and things that could go wrong in our minds. We need to realize we are not the ones in control of our lives, God is. We need God to help us break off the yoke of slavery, that is, self-pity.
It is okay to grieve for a while when things go wrong, it is okay to grieve for a while when we lose a loved one, it is okay to grieve for a while when a marriage or relationship ends, it is okay to grieve for a while when we lose a job, it is okay to grieve for a while when we face storms in life. What is not okay is falling into self-pity, it is not okay to get stuck feeling sorry for ourselves. God did not plan for us to live sorry lives, we are to rise above the storms. We are to surrender and give everything to God.
We are to get off ourselves and love God and others, we are to worship God regardless of what is happening in our lives.
When we are self-absorbed, it is hard to see others. When we are so focused on ourselves, it is hard to recognize needs in others, it is hard to recognize ways in which we can serve God. When we are so focused on ourselves, we tend to think others owe us something, we become demanding, we start trying to control other people, we tell others what to do, we look for others to save us.
Yet, there is no savior in this world apart from Jesus Christ, no person will save us from our problems, nothing in this world will save us or take our problems away, nothing and no one in this world will give us certainty or that inner security we crave for. We have only one Savior, Jesus Christ the Son of the Living God. We have to know our identity so that we stop craving from the world what it can never offer us. Our identity and worth is only found and rooted in God.
God is the One in control, He controls everything including our future. We are not to live in fear, we are to live by faith in God. Faith conquers fear.
Now faith is a well-grounded assurance of that for which we hope, and a conviction of the reality of things which we do not see. Hebrews 11:1.
The Bible tells us to give thanks in all circumstances, for that is the will of God in Christ Jesus for us. We are to live lives full of thanksgiving, not because everything is going on well but because we know Who is in control. We stand on the Word of God. We know we can do all things through Him who strengthens us. Regardless of what has happened in our lives, regardless of what people have done or said; we know whose we are and He is our Rock.
We are not to live in fear, we are to lay all at the cross. Jesus came and defeated all sin and defeated death. Jesus carried it all for us; He knew what we needed and what we will face even before we were born. Jesus became sin for us, He carried all for us; in Jesus we have victory. The Bible reminds us that no temptation has overtaken us that is not common to man, and God will not let us be tempted beyond our ability, but with every temptation, He will also provide a way of escape, that we may endure it. God’s got us covered!
We know that God has promised to be with us every step of the way. We have nothing to worry about.
Those who remain steadfast are considered blessed. God is the source of everything, He directs our paths when we trust in Him. He opens doors and creates doors where there was none. He brings the right people into our lives. We do not have to be codependent on others, we do not have to rely on the world to meet our needs, we do not have to worry about what people will say or do. With God, we know we have everything we need. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble.
Self-pity has no place in our lives, we know where we came from, we know why we are here, we know where we are going, and most important of all, we know whose we are. We are the children of God, sons and daughters of the King of kings adopted into sonship through Jesus Christ. God loves us. He has promised to give us the desires of our hearts when we pray in accordance with His will. When our will is aligned with God’s will and our prayers do not come from selfish ambitions, then we will ask for anything from our Father and He will hear and answer our prayers in accordance with His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it. Psalm 37:4-5.
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