Dealing with spiteful words and actions

How to deal with spiteful actions and words against you


Spite refers to intentional actions or words meant to hurt another person. It is a very common vice in the world. Spiteful people tend to hide it or give excuses for their words or actions. Spite can be directed towards an innocent person, or people can also direct it towards a person who has hurt them. It is very intentional, with the sole purpose of hurting another or in an attempt to ‘prove a point’.

Spiteful actions and words cause great damage, both to the spiteful person and to the other person towards whom it is directed at. A person might be deceived into saying they have the right to do what they are doing just because the other person did such and such a thing. It is rooted in hatred, bitterness, jealousy, envy, and an attempt at revenge.

People do and say things in an attempt ‘to get back at someone’. People will say mean things, disrespectful things, do hurtful actions, and they try to justify their actions and words based on what the other person has done or said.

Not surprisingly, spite can be directed at an innocent person. Other people may get jealous because a person is progressing well in life, because the other person has a good job, has a good relationship, has a good family, looks good, lives in a nice house, and many such things; such things boil hatred and envy in a spiteful person and they start attacking. They make up stories and spread lies, they try to portray the other person as bad, they look for things to use in attacking the other person.

The spiteful actions and words may be directed directly at the other person, or towards their friends and family. Spiteful people may attempt public humiliation, they may use abusive words to try to diminish the other person.

A spiteful heart is a dark heart.

A person may also be spiteful because of their inability to achieve what they wanted. It may even be because a person is being told a truth that they do not want to face. Spite leads to many evil things in the world.

In the Bible we are told John the baptist was beheaded and his death was orchestrated by Herodias.

For when Herod had John arrested, he bound him and put him in prison because of Herodias, the wife of his brother Philip. For John had been saying to him, ‘It is not lawful for you to have her. Matthew 14:13.

John had stood for the truth and that is what led to his death. The people he was telling the unpleasant truth made sure he was put to death. They did not want anyone to raise up the sin that they were doing.

Spiteful people plan evil in their hearts in an attempt to hurt other people and to cover their wrongs. They sharpen their tongues as a serpent; poison of a viper is under their lips.

Dealing with spiteful actions
Take all to God in prayer

When we obtain favor from the Lord, there will always be people trying to bring us down. It is not about us most of the time, when people attack us, it is usually about them; their heart is usually in the wrong place.

We are told Joseph was loved by his father, however, when his brothers saw that, their hearts grew bitter and they started plotting evil against him.

His brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers; so they hated him and could not speak to him on friendly terms. Genesis 37:4.

Joseph’s brothers eventually sold him into captivity, but God’s favor was upon him; he prospered in the land where he was taken captive. Other people’s hatred or jealousy will not stop what God has in store for us. God’s purpose always prevails.

Spiteful people poison their own lives without even realizing it. They breed evil, hatred, and bitterness, which eventually consume them. Their actions and words eventually come back to them. Their heart’s condition is revealed. Their motives come out.

Though his hatred covers itself with guile, his wickedness will be revealed before the assembly. He who digs a pit falls into it, and he who rolls a stone, it will come back on him. Proverbs 26:27.

This is why forgiveness is so important and also using the right route to address a problem. We are told to never pay back evil for evil. We are to do what is right in the sight of all men and in the eyes of God.

Vengeance backfires on the one plotting it.

We should all address things in the right manner. When we are hurt by another person, we use the right protocol. We do not go telling anyone and everyone. We do not put the other person under ‘mob justice’. The ‘mob’ has no mercy, the ‘mob’ moves with the crowd. The ‘mob’ does not try to find out if the person accused is guilty or innocent, the ‘mob’ does not try to find out the motive behind a word or action. The ‘mob’ has no justice.

Jesus Christ left us an example of the way we should live. Our lives are to be guided by the Word of God.

For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously. 1 Peter 2:21-23.

There is strength in doing the right thing; it frees our souls. We walk as free people without burdens holding us back. Our doing good is not based on what others are doing or not doing; it comes from a confident place in us that is rooted in God. We value our relationship with God and therefore our words and actions are not under external influences from other people.

We are to protect and guard our hearts. We do not allow spiteful people to attack us, we speak up in love and in truth. We hold other people responsible for their words and actions. We do not accept blame from people who are projecting their wrong actions and words towards us. We do not accept being blamed for other people’s mistakes. We do not allow people to spread lies about us. We do not condone any form of disrespect towards us. We treat other people with respect and expect the same.

We know what God’s plan and purpose in our lives is. We do good for God’s glory and honor, and God blesses us with both earthly and eternal blessings.

How blessed are those who keep justice, who practice righteousness at all times! Psalms 106:3.

God directs us on the right path. He directs us to make the right choices in our lives when we ask Him to. When we know who we are and whose we are, nothing will ever weigh us down.


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3 thoughts on “How to deal with spiteful actions and words against you”

  1. Pingback: How to be authentic in a fake world - Vicky's Forum - Christian Life Coach

  2. It’s 1:55am. I’m up thinking as I am currently going through a situation at work. Didn’t know what to do, but deep down, I knew that calling someone to talk wasn’t the answer. I went to search for biblical principles and came across this thread. Thank you for your obedience to post this. It has allowed me to search my heart for its own faults, walk in forgiveness, seek wisdom, peace, but also stand firm in knowing whom I belong to.

    Blessings to you.

    I cannot WAIT to go through the rest of your blog. This is GOOD stuff!!!!!!!! Lol!

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