No is a complete sentence. It does not need to be justified by explanations. It is a powerful word. It is a word that implies we know who we are, what we want, and what we do not want. It comes from a place of strength rather than weakness. It tells the other person that we have heard what they are saying, we have heard what they wanted us to do or say, but we choose not to; we choose not to go ahead with it.
Many times we feel pressured to do or say something just to avoid offending the other person. Yet, what we fail to remember is that the moment we do something that we do not want to do, we end up betraying and doing a disservice to ourselves.
People will guilt trip us, they will tell us all sorts of things in order to make us do or say what they want. But, we should never forget what we want and what is right and true. Is that what we want to do? Is that good for us? Is that the right thing to do?
Saying no does not mean selfishness or pride.
There is a difference between saying no and being selfish. Selfishness and pride come in when we have ourselves on the throne, saying no comes from a place of knowing who and whose we are. It means we consider everything. It means we consider the motive of the other person. It means everything is put into consideration and weighed out. It means we know who we are in Jesus Christ and we choose to do what pleases God.
When people pressure us into something, most of the time it comes from their selfishness. It means they want what they want. It means they want to satisfy themselves and when we do not give them what they want, their ego is hurt. It means they did not consider us. In case they eventually get what they want, we become useless to them. They have proven a point to themselves. Our value to them was based on what they could get. Such people change instantly, whether they get or do not get what they want. They become like people we never knew; their masks fall off.
When we allow people to treat us the way they want, soon we learn true human nature. People can do all the harm they want if they think they can get away with it. We realize how the human mind is.
The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it! Jeremiah 17:9.
Without resistance or consequences, human nature tends to sway towards doing bad rather than good; that is when true character comes out. People, given freedom, will gossip, lie, cheat, steal, kill, and destroy each other. Only a people with integrity and governed by God’s Law come out different and victorious.
If our actions and words are different depending on circumstances, depending on other people, depending on who we are with, then that means we live a lie. Circumstances do not change character. In fact, they reveal who we really are.
One trick of the enemy is to make us say yes when we mean no, and say no when we mean yes.
Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no. Anything more than this comes from the evil one. Matthew 5:37.
The enemy want us to be confused, then he will accuse us of being lukewarm; he will say that we do not know ourselves, and he will accuse us of going insane because he knows that is how he gets a hold of us. The enemy uses deception to lure people in and capture them.
Developing a relationship with Jesus Christ grows us into spiritual maturity. We know who God says we are and we are able to rise up against the attacks of the enemy by putting on the full armor of God.
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7.
We recognize our source of power is God. We grow and bear fruit of self-control; we are able to say yes and mean it, or say no and mean it. We cannot become always yes people.
When other people realize that they can do anything to us, they start taking advantage. They see an open door and start misusing it. They go out of our lives and come back in as they wish. They start practicing anything and everything that they have ever thought of on us; people can easily make us test dummies. They go about discussing us with other people. They will go laughing at us and go saying all sorts of things.
The Bible advises us to guard over our hearts with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. We cannot allow people to speak negative over our lives, we cannot sit back and allow people to project their negativity and their discontentment about their own lives onto us. We cannot allow people to tell us how we should carry ourselves, how we should talk, and how we should do things.
If we are in a place where we know ourselves, we get to know what works for us and what does not; our standard always being the Word of God. We treat everyone with respect and dignity, and we reach a point where we owe nothing to others except to love them.
Saying no is also a form of expressing love; it keeps us and others in check.
It means wrongs in society do not go unpunished, and it means we do not allow people to ruin our lives or the lives of others. God says no sometimes. He knows that some of the things we ask for are not good for us, and He says no out of love. With time, as we develop a relationship with God, our will is aligned with His will, so that whenever we pray, we pray in accordance with God’s will.
The free will God gave us means that He will not force Himself on us; we have to be willing to follow Him. When we do, He renews our minds by His Word and gives us the Holy Spirit, who indwells us and intercedes for us in accordance with God’s will.
We are not slaves to people or circumstances. In everything, with God’s help, we can choose to do good, even if it means saying no to others. We choose to follow Jesus Christ and to be in right standing with Him. In everything we do, we do for God’s glory and honor. God has promised eternal life to those who love Him.
But in keeping with God’s promise, we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells. Therefore, beloved, as you anticipate these things, make every effort to be found at peace with Him, without spot or blemish. 2 Peter 3:14.
We say yes to God and no to everything that does not please God.
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