The desire for acceptance

Desire For Acceptance – Overcoming Rejection


The desire for acceptance is at the heart of every human being. When there is no acceptance, we deal with rejection. Rejection is a strong emotion, you know, how much rejection can a human being withstand and still remain functional? We all desire to be accepted, we desire to be wanted, we desire to be recognized and not just passed over as if we do not exist. We desire what we say to be considered, we desire others to put thought into words and actions before they put them across to us.

Rejection flares up all the insecurities we have within to the surface. When rejected, something in us changes. We start saying and doing things we would not normally do or say. Rejection brings to the surface all the unhealed wounds. It brings to the surface what so and so did and what so and so said. We start acting up and throwing tantrums. It brings out the hidden things within us that we did not even know existed.

Words are seeds. Some things can be traced back to childhood, what someone said many years ago. Children internalize so many things. Children learn by observation, they learn through what others say or do. If a child is used to hearing negative words directed to them, then those words take root. Something inside changes. If a child is mistreated or abused they internalize that and somehow identify those things with themselves. They try to cope by altering their behavior or language. In an effort to be accepted, they subconsciously alter their behavior and words to fit what is considered acceptable or in an effort to protect themselves.

People enter adulthood and go through life with a lot of trauma; whether it is caused by words spoken, actions done, family instability, bullying and ridicule from others, societal pressure and expectations; and many other things. Without knowing it we walk through life seeking acceptance. We say and do things, whether consciously or subconsciously as a way of seeking acceptance. Probably something happened in the past and we put on walls of protection, we adjust as a way of avoiding rejection.

We dress how people dress, we do things and speak in such a way in order to be accepted by the society, we go with the crowd because we think the crowd knows best, we go with the flow so that we are not looked at as the odd one out. In the process, we end up losing ourselves. We are so used to living life as others expect us to that we forget who we really are. We put on a show even without knowing. We smile on the outside when deep inside we are falling apart. We develop pride and arrogance. Some develop anger as a coping mechanism. Whatever works for a person to fit in, they adapt to that. Whatever it takes not to be seen as the different one.

When we approach people and they do not seem to care or they laugh at us, we tend to internalize that. We may start identifying ourselves with what people say about us. Our search for acceptance makes us targets of abuse and mistreatment. In an effort to be accepted we become people-pleasers. We act in fear and cling to people. We cannot be alone. We start looking for identity in other people. We get easily offended.

When people do not want to be near us we identify ourselves with rejection; we wonder what is wrong with us, we wonder why people laugh at us, we wonder why people avoid us, we wonder why people talk about us even when we have not done anything offensive, we wonder why people take advantage of us, we wonder why people abuse and mistreat us. Our value starts being dependent on others; if they accept us we feel good but if they don’t then our world falls apart. Our self-esteem dips downwards.

Rejection can drive a person into hopelessness, it can drive a person to lose meaning in life.

It makes a person wonder what is so wrong with them and what is so right with others. It makes a person feel secluded. No wonder how much a person tries they just don’t seem to get it right. It seems everyone goes in the opposite direction when you try to approach them, they will talk behind your back and sometimes you will never know; you will just be wondering why everyone seems to avoid you. Others will sit in a group and discuss you but never approach you. Rejection!

Thank God for the truth. Thank God we never have to rely on human beings for acceptance. We are already accepted through Jesus Christ. Our worth and value is not based on what people say or do, it is not based on what we say or do, our worth and value is only found and rooted in God. We are priceless. Jesus Christ loves us and He died for us and took everything upon Himself. He bore all our burdens so that we never have to live a defeated life.

Jesus Christ became sin for us. He was crucified and died, took all that sin and shame and was buried, then, He rose from the dead. He rose again in victory. He defeated all sin and death. In Christ, we are accepted. God loves us and He gave His only Son to carry all our burdens. At the cross is where we lay it all. They that are in Christ are a new creation. The old has passed away and we embrace new life in God. God loved us before we were even born. He knows us by name. He is our Father.

Acceptance is only found in God; only Him can fill those deep longings of acceptance in our hearts. We are loved and accepted by God in Christ Jesus.

The Bible says that we shall know the truth and that truth shall set us free. We did not receive a spirit of fear but of power, of love, and a sound mind. When we repent and accept Jesus as personal Lord and Savoir, we walk a new life. Our life is transformed by the renewal of our minds through the Word of God. The Holy Spirit ministers to us and bears witness with our spirit the truths of God’s Kingdom. God is our heavenly Father who loves us with unconditional love.

“I no longer call you slaves, because a master does not confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”  John 15:15.

When God puts His stamp of approval on us, it is a done deal.


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The desire for acceptance
Accepted in Christ

2 thoughts on “Desire For Acceptance – Overcoming Rejection”

  1. Pingback: Words Are Seeds - Vicky's Forum - Christian Life Coach for Women

  2. Pingback: When People Walk Away From Your Life - Vicky's Forum - Life Coach

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